Fighting with Style: Tools & Techniques for Fighting Fair

A major challenge in any relationship is handling conflicts. We all have conflicts and disagreements but how we handle our conflicts can mean
the difference between an emotion-driven shouting match and creative problem solving.

Having a conflict doesn’t have to mean that you dislike each other; it only means that you disagreeabout something. When you have a conflict use these tools and techniques to effectively face your problem.

Set a time to discuss the conflict. Make time to talk about what is
bothering you. It should be a time when both people can give their
undivided attention to the issue. Don’t have important conversations
when you are very angry, upset, tired, in a hurry or under the influence
of alcohol or drugs. Ask the other person when is a good time to talk
about what is bothering you. If the other person puts up resistance in
meeting with you. Try to help them understand that the problem is
important to you.

Identify the problem. Be specific. Vague complaints or problems are
difficult to work on. Take time to explore all the facts of the problem.
Don’t just assume you understand the problem until you have explored
it a bit. Frequently simple little issues have an important “hidden agenda”
under them.

Listen Carefully. Genuinely listen, don’t think about what you plan to say
next while you’re listening. Stay calm. Don’t interrupt. Allow the other
person time to share their point of view. Make a true effort to hear and
understand their concerns and feelings.

Work on one issue at a time. Make up your mind about what is your main
concern and discuss it. Don’t bring in other topics until each is fully
discussed. Don’t use your present concern as a reason to throw in all your
complaints from the past and then use the stockpile of complaints and
resentments from the past to fuel the present. Then the original complaint
gets put on the back burner and nothing gets resolved.

Know what your goals are before you begin. Ask yourself, what do I really
want from the other person, is it realistic? What are acceptable outcomes
to me? Then give the other person a chance to correct the situation.
Try to see the issue from the other person’s perspective and accept their
feeling without being judgmental.

Search for a solution that is satisfying for you both. Brainstorm, you
propose solutions and give the other person the opportunity to propose
solutions. Both of you offer as many ideas as possible in a brief period
of time without evaluating or judging them. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each proposal.

Be prepared for some compromise. Try to find solutions that are peaceful
and satisfying for both of you. If no solution is reached regarding the
problem or issue, set a time to begin the discussion again. When this
doesn’t seem to work, be prepared to disagree about some things.
Sometimes completely resolving a disagreement is impossible.
Express your appreciation to the other person for them discussing the
issue with you. Convey your respect and maintain a spirit of good will.
Finish on a positive note.
Conflicts and disagreements are a normal, unavoidable and even a
healthy part of relationships. These tools and techniques can help you
establish an atmosphere of cooperative problem-solving.

A Final Word
If you feel like your relationship has deteriorated to the point where
cooperative problem-solving can not be achieved, you may want to
consider a neutral third party to mediate the discussion.

Copyright Rashun Jones 2008 "All Rights Reserved" Reprint only with
permission from author

Women and the Quiet Thief: Osteoporosis

Osteoporosis is often called "the quiet thief" because you might not know it is robbing you of bone mass until you suffer a boken bone. About one out of every two women, as opposed to one in eight men, will have an osteoporosis-related fracture in their life time.
Women are at greater risk to lose bone tissue more rapidly than men because of changes involved in menopause. Small thin boned women are at an even greater risk.
Osteoporosis is a disease that causes bones to become more porous, gradually making them weaker and more brittle.

You're at risk for Osteoporosis if you:

• Have a family history of osteoporosis.
• Have a diet low in calcium.
• Are of caucasian or asian decent
• Use alcohol excessively.
• Have a small or thin body structure.
• Have taken oral steroids, thyroid medications or anticonvulsants for a long time.

It may be difficult for you to determine if your bones are at risk of breaking because even if you are eating a diet that is rich in calcium and exercising regularly you can't see your bone loss. A bone density test is the most practical way to accurately measure your bone density and will help the doctor diagnosis the disease in its early stages.
Bone loss is usually a slow process until a fracture occurs. Bone density test measure the mineral content and density or mass of your bones. This test will help the doctor determine whether your bones are still strong or at risk for breaking. Then you and your doctor can decide the best course of action for your bone health.

4 Steps you can take to prevent Osteoporosis, they are:

1. Weight-bearing exercise stimulates bone growth. Activities to make your bones strong include walking, dancing, jogging, stair-climbing, racquet sports, hiking and weight training. You should do these a minimum of 3-4 times/week. If you have been sedentary most of your adult life consult your doctor before you begin any exercise program.

2. A balanced diet rich in calcium and vitamin D. Calcium is necessary for strong bones. The following foods are rich in calcium: milk, cheese, yogurt, bread, sardines, broccoli and all milk products, such as ice cream.

How Much Calcium Do You Need?
Ages 20-50 1000mg/day
Over age 50(after menopause) 1500mg/day

Vitamin D is needed to help the body absorb calcium. Without enough vitamin D you will not be able to absorb the calcium from the foods you eat, and your body will have to take the calcium from your bones. You can get the vitamin D you need from two sources: from the sun through direct exposure to the skin and from the diet. A daily intake between 400 and 800 iu per day. Which can be obtained from fortified diary products: egg yolks, saltwater fish and liver.

3. Give up smoking and reduce your alcohol intake. If you have not already given up smoking to prevent problems with your lungs, heart and circulation, osteoporosis is another reason to quit smoking! Small amounts of alcohol may not harm you, but if you drink regularly, you may increase your risk of developing osteoporosis.

4. Bone density testing and medication when appropriate. Bone mineral density test is the only way to diagnose osteoporosis and determine your risk for future broken bones. Although there is no cure there is currently medication available from the doctor to prevent osteoporosis and to help prevent broken bones by rebuilding bones in post menopausal women.

Osteoporosis is not a normal part of aging. You can have healthy strong bones, it is never too late to start taking steps to maintain healthy bones.
For further information contact the National Osteoporosis Foundation

This article was developed to provide education; it is not intended as medical advice for conditions or treatment. Talk to your doctor before following any treatment regime to see if it is safe and effective for you.
Copyright (c) Rashun Jones 2003 Reprint with permission only

Interview with the Tropellos

Author: Rashun Jones

John and Joanne Tropello: thetroppellos@yahoo.com
Joanne Troppello's Journal

Meet Rashun JonesRashun Jones is the author of Healthy Attitudes-Smart Choices: Living the Life You Choose (2006), Power of Life-Use It or Lose It (2003), Blueprints A Way of Life (2001) and soon to be released Girl You Can Have a Break-down or Breakthrough. A nationally known speaker, trainer and author who has a Masters degree in Human Relations. Rashun lives and breathes her personal motto: "Take charge of your life & Live it to the fullest."
She is a contributing writer for BlackLiving.com, AA Culture Zone and Selfhelp.com. Rashun was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She graduated from the University of Central Oklahoma with a BS in Nursing and Oklahoma University with a Masters in Human Relations.

Healthy Attitudes Smart Choices: Living the Life You Choose (2006)
ISBN 13:978 09669730-2-0 ISBN 10: 09669730-2-X
LCCN: 2006925153Price: 14.95 Type: Non-fiction , Paperback
Do you want an attitude adjustment?Strong evidence shows that an optimistic attitude is associated with increased health and wellness, where as a pessimistic attitude is associated with depression and poor health. There are people who believe attitude is everything; however a healthy attitude does not happen overnight. It takes more than a sunset to bring out the best in people. It requires a conscious attitude adjustment to set a higher personal standard.Healthy Attitudes Smart Choices gives you insight, tools and strategies to build a positive healthy outlook in life. Don�t let negativity weigh you down. Equip yourself with knowledge, skills, positive affirmations, competence and confidence to meet all of your challenges, no matter where, what or who they are. This book will help you:Be aware of different types of negative attitudes.Understand how attitudes impact relationships.What you can do to change your attitude.Increase productivity and cooperation.Break through fears and blocks that inhibit creativity.Reduce stress to improve your performance. Nourish and nurture your spirit.

website: http://www.nushapenet.com/

1. Why did you become a writer? Was it a dream of yours since you were younger or did the desire to write happen later in life?
I have always loved to write and tell stories. Just being able to put something on paper that might impact someone, somewhere is very exciting to me. I started writing seriously and allowing others to read my writing when I was in college. After college I was settled into my everyday life and it felt like something was missing. Something inside me kept saying write a book!, write a book! I would be lying quietly in bed at night and something inside me would say Get up and write! Eventually I followed this calling. I believe it was God�s instruction. Something inside me kept tapping at my heart to write, I started writing and the results was my first book Eboni Chronicles. My writing has added a whole new dimension to my life.
2. What was the inspiration for your latest work of fiction?
I write non-fiction, but I am inspired by things I encounter in my daily life, what I see, hear, touch, smell and taste. I like to capture the essence of what can occur in ones life. I believe the creative journey will lead me down the path of writing fiction or a fiction thriller someday. I have a vivid imagination and I want to embrace that imaginary genius in me and see where it leads me. My writing is a journey to live, love, teach and learn from others.
3. Do you tend to base your characters on real people or are they totally from your imagination.?
I base my characters on people I know and see in my life. However, occasionally they may have a tinge of my imagination or how I hope my character would be. I tell stories and develop short vignettes in my books. I like for my reader to be able to visualize my character from my description.
4. What was the most interesting research you had to do for any of your books. When I wrote Eboni Chronicles I interviewed Black women from ages 14-72 on six areas beauty, self-esteem, work and education, spirituality and emotions and defenses. They also shared how they demonstrate resilience in their day to day life. It was interesting to see how womens attitudes, beliefs and lifestyles have changed over the years.
5. How do you go from an idea for a book to the birth of the story?
Is the process the same for every book you write? People give me ideas, I watch, listen to people and read. Since I write non-fiction I am always writing things down things I would like to explore. I have files and idea boxes with Titles, Names, Funny Stories and quotes that I can use when I begin to write chapters or speeches when I speak to audiences. I take an idea or concept then I look at how I can build the ideas and concepts to benefit other people. I try to give a different approach with some emotional appeal. I always look at how my book will benefit others.
6. Do you have any advice for beginning writers in regards to writing a book?
Do you have any advice for them in regards to promoting that book once it is published? Write! Write something that is different or unusual that will catch the public eye. There are so many books out there your book has to have something that will make people stop, wonder and want to know more. You want the potential reader to be curious about your project. Go to writer conferences so you can network and talk with other writers.
Promoting: I promote my writing on the web, in local newspapers, at local events, conferences, online radio, book fairs and expos. I promote everyday.

What Constitutes a "Good Worker"?

A young lady who was recently laid off, fired, downsized or whatever they call it now days asked the question. Why was I the one fired, doesn't it matter if you're a good worker, who never calls in sick? Why was it me? I listened and but I didn't have much to say, other than take a couple months vacation, rest and get your head together. Then look for another job. Don't listen to the media too much about how bad the economy is because there is a lot of money out there in the world.

But this conversation made me think about what is a good worker? From being in corporate America for more than thirty years I've learned that "good worker" can mean many different things depending on the bosses perception. What you might think is a good worker may not be your bosses perception of a good worker. A good worker can be:

One who helps the company cover up all the dirt and deceit it's involved in.
One who can come through in an emergency and write-up policies and procedures to help the company keep accreditations, pass inspections and meet the neccesary guidelines it needs to operate.
One who smiles and acts like they agree with everything the boss says.
One who takes the blames for blunders in an area and is rewarded.
One who does their work, goes the extra mile, is not involved in mis conduct such as:
theft, fighting, sexual harassment, habitual misses or tardiness or disrupting the work area.

Well a good worker can mean many different things to a manager or boss. Good worker is in the eye of the beholder. Who knows what kind of lens a manager or boss is wearing on any given day? Who knows how dirty or clean their lens is. Is it foggy from their superior telling them what a no good manager they are or that they need to get their employees in line. Is it clean because they have a clear direction of where they are going and most of the people in their area buy into this vision. What measuring stick are they using? Is the bosses are trying to make sure their bottom line or pay/incentives are getting bigger and bigger?

I am asking you what is a good worker in the 21st century? Why are companies using the euphemism "laid off," when it really means "fired? How come it's so difficult to be honest with the employee these days, you'd rather lay them off verses fire them. whether they are laid off or fired the house payment is still due.

A "Good worker", Bad worker the worker still controls the production! Is that why so much production is sent out of this country, even when they lie and say it was made in America.

Michelle Obama's Biceps and Body!

I find it interesting that a lot of attention is given to Michelle Obama's Biceps and how her arms look in her clothing. We've gone from hips and thighs to arms and biceps. Women in politics are still treading on shaky waters so to speak, they're fighting to take their rightful place at the table in politics. So why do some women and men work so hard to act as if it is how they look that's important rather their ideas, talents and abilities. This year we had a women in a serious fight for the white house and we have a black woman as the first lady. A beautiful , intelligent, logical black woman , a woman who is able to discuss and carry-out legitimate political issues.

Why are her arms and biceps in the media?

I guess no matter how much lip-service men and women (yes women) give to equal treatment of women. Some of us still still discriminate and hold on to old stereotypes that woman can't be smart and beautiful, women must be seen and not heard or taken too serious. When it comes to women no matter how talented they are, they are often recognized and valued for their appearance, thighs, arms or breast size. Why are we so obssessed with a woman's looks? Why are we so fixated on standards of beauty set by the caucasian-male led media? Sisters have their beliefs, ideas, standards and dreams. They're beautiful, strong. intelligent and logical, even when people try to make them believe they are not.

Balances on Credit Cards, Home Equity Lines Grow!

Borrowing can be habit-forming, but Americans love to do it.
With tighter lending standards on autos and home refinancing, consumers are tapping other sources of credit. The average balances on credit cards rose 9.5 percent recently, and balances on home equity lines of credit rose 8.1 percent, according to data from Equifax, Inc., and Moody's Economy.com.

Borrowing is climbing faster in areas where housing prices fell the most, making it difficult to get extra cash from refinancing. The most affected areas in the study were found to be in California, Florida and Nevada.
Rates on some credit cards and home-equity lines of credit have fallen with the Fed rate cuts, making borrowing from those sources more attractive.

Further, as credit standards continue to tighten, borrowers are pulling more money from home equity lines of credit before banks can reduce or freeze their credit lines. In some cases, the extra borrowing is vital to keeping a home. In the worst-case scenario, it is for the cost of excessive living.

10 Good Reasons to Enjoy A Healthy Breakfast

Compiled by Rashun Jones RN

A large percentage of the population agree that breakfast is the most important
meal of the day. Yet many of us still skip this meal daily, with the usual excuses being lack of time or an aversion to eating food early in the morning.

By breaking this habit you could make a difference. You might also decide that breakfast is a good part of a healthy diet. That's really important because there is considerable evidence that diet can influence our risk of cancer, with estimates suggesting that one third of cancers could be prevented by changes in the diet. Here are 10 good reasons to enjoy a healthy breakfast. .

1. Energy: Energy levels are maintained and sustained by eating carbohydrate foods, which release their energy (glucose) slowly. Eat porridge or whole wheat toast.
2. Metabolism: Missing breakfast tends to slow down metabolism and makes it harder for the body to burn fat.
3. Weight: Eating a low fat, high carbohydrate breakfast is the best way to begin the day---it will kick start your metabolism which in turn will keep body fat levels under control.
4. Memory: The most consistent findings to date suggest that eating breakfast influences the process involved in the formation and retrieval of memories and in managing complex or challenging information. Breakfast achieves this through its ability to raise blood glucose levels, which makes sure brain cells are in top form.
5. Concentration and Alertness: Missing breakfast is an occupational hazard; research has shown a much lower incidence of work related accidents for people who eat breakfast. To boost concentration and alleviate tiredness the brain needs feeding to keep it satisfied and alert.
6. Hunger: Slow release carbohydrates induce a feeling of satisfaction and fullness, which prevents binging on hign fat and sugary foods.
7. Mood: The mood-food connection is often ignored: feeding your brain at the appropriate time such as first thing in the morning and with the appropriate nutrients ie. a high carbohydrate low fat breakfast will cheer you up!
8. Stress: Breakfast is a stress-buster! To help you get through the anxieties and problems of the day, eat foods rich in serotonin-enhancing carbohydrates and also B complex vitamins such as granary bread and oats, but avoid too much caffeine ( especially in the form of coffee), as this will only enhance nervousness and irritability.
9. Hydration: Load up on fluids by starting your day with water, fruit or vegetable juice and/ or weak tea-it is important to keep your fluid intake high: drink at least 2 liters (8 glasses) of fluid per day.
10. Immunity: Begin the day with foods rich in vitamins A and C, B vitamins and zinc. Include some of the following in your breakfast: citrus fruits, berries, melon, eggs, oily fish, wholegrain cereals, wheat germ and oats.

Etiquette Tips for Business Meals

The annual business awards night for your local Chamber of Commerce will attract hundreds of entrepreneurs. You and your spouse will be seated with the President of the Chamber of Commerce. The Head of the Department of Nursing at a local college calls you in for a final interview and invites you to attend a luncheon with other members of the faculty.
Graduation is over and you are a new graduate invited to have lunch with the owner of a prestigious engineering firm.

We are what we eat. It may be more than just a saying when it comes to business meals. Without proper etiquette, prospective employees and business partners can blow their chances to secure jobs or close deals during a business meal.
“The most critical thing to remember is you’re not eating at home. At home many of us tend to put way too much in our mouth, gulp our water or eat entirely too fast.”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full and you shouldn’t ask a question of someone who just took a bite of food, said Bob Laune, president of Dale Carnegie Training Systems.
A business meal should be all about making a favorable first impression. Come prepared with appropriate dinner conversation. You want to contribute to your table talk in a manner that sets other dinner guest at ease. Know in advance who will be attending? What interest might they have? What topics are in agreement with the focus of the function?

Place Setting:
Solids are on your left: Forks, Butter plate and Napkin (napkin may be on your plate also).
Liquids are on your right: Glasses/cups, Knifes and Spoons.
Whether basic or formal place setting, use your utensils from the outside in
Dessert utensil may be above the place setting or served with dessert.
When you have completed your meal, rest your fork and knife together in the center of your plate. And when resting your arms, your elbows shouldn't be on the table.

Keep your Napkin where it belongs. Once everyone is seated, diners should put the napkins in their lap. Etiquette dictates the host should do so first. The napkin remains on your lap or in your hand throughout the entire meal and should be used to gently blot your mouth when needed. If you need to leave the table during the meal, place the napkin on your chair. When you are finished eating you should place your napkin to the left of your plate.

Personal belongs are off the table. Purses, keys, gloves, etc. should never be placed on the table. Personal belongings should be placed on the floor, your lap, behind your back in the chair, or hung on the chair. Make sure your cell phone is turned off and placed out of sight.

Abstain from Alcohol. Your safest bet is to stay away from cocktails-You want to be in full control of your faculties. Also many employers frown upon it. If your dining companion insists that you have a drink, limit it to one.

Write a thank you note. It is always good manners to do that when someone takes you out.
If a job you are interviewing for requires certain standards of conduct with clients and superiors. Your future boss may be scrutinizing your table manners and behavior in social settings. On the other hand interviews that last for several hours may extend through mealtimes, and the employer is acting as a gracious host to provide you with meals. The meal is a time to visit and interact, and this is always more important than the function of eating.
Peace and Blessings with all your endeavors,
Rashun Jones.

10 Ways to Conquer Stress at Work

By Rashun Jones RN

Company re-organizing, downsizing, mergers and productivity campaigns, the outcome: a workplace that is producing more for less. Recent studies have shown that increasing worker production is accompanied by increased worker stress. When you work in stressful environments for long periods of time, stress begins to affect your health. It is also noted that 80% of the diseases people experience are related to stress. Here are 10 tips to help you conquer stress at work.
1. Start your day in a positive manner. The first 45 minutes of your day can set the tone for the rest of your day. You can choose to have a positive or negative day. Studies have shown that a positive attitude helps reduce stress, so make a conscious decision to have a good and positive day.
2. Prioritize your work. Trying to take care of everything at once can feel over-whelming, and as a result you may not accomplish anything. Stay organized make a list of what task you have to do and complete them one at a time, check them off as they are completed. Give priority to the most important ones and do those first. Don’t make things worse by putting off work. Keep on schedule and you’ll keep from missing deadlines, which in turn can cause stress and feeling bad about yourself.
3. Schedule regular breaks. Plan to take short breaks. Most people can only maintain effective concentration for 40 minutes. Regular short breaks will help you maintain your optimal productivity. Often after a break you’ll approach problems from a different perspective. Don’t work through coffee breaks and always try to leave the office or work area to eat your lunch. Taking breaks is important for both your mental and physical freshness.
4. Be flexible. Recognize that not everything in your life will go as planned. Sometimes work related stress comes from your attitude about the natural flow of work. Don’t make problems where there are not any. Stay open minded, look for solutions that will benefit the needs of all involved, an unplanned journey can bring a new perspective, adventure or learning experience to your work day.
5. Avoid conflict. Must you always be right? Do other people upset you---particularly when they don’t do things your way? Try cooperation instead of confrontation; its better than fighting and always being right. A little give and take on both sides will reduce the stress and make both you feel more comfortable. Be flexible and try to maintain positive relationships with your colleagues.
6. Know your limits. Focus your energy on things you can control. If a problem is beyond your control and cannot be changed at the moment, don’t fight the situation. Learn to accept what is---for now ---until such time when you can change it.
7. Take care of yourself. You are special. Get enough rest and eat well. If you are irritable and tense from lack of sleep or if you are not eating correctly, you will have less ability to deal with stressful situations. If stress repeatedly keeps you from sleeping, you should ask your doctor for help.
8. Schedule regular exercise. Try to get some exercise at least once a day. A twenty-minute walk at lunchtime will not only reduce stress but could also help you live longer. Exercise slows the aging process, improves your weight and prevents various illnesses such a hypertension, heart disease and osteoporosis.
9. Home life. Try to keep your home life separate from your work life. Don’t bring work home with you if you can possibly avoid it. Have interest outside of work. Having outside interests is essential for balance and relaxation. Try getting a message or seeing a movie. Learning a foreign language or a new cooking style works too.
10. Make time for fun. Schedule time for both work and recreation. Play can be just as important to your well-being as work; you need to break from your daily routine to just relax and have fun.

Tips for Preventing Identity Fraud

1. Get a copy of your credit report every year from the three credit reporting agencies. make sure it is accurate and includes only activities authorized by you.
2. Cancel credit cards you don't need or use.
3. Don't give out personal information over the phone, through the mail or internet unless you initiated the contact or know who the person is.
4. Don't carry your social security card, leave it in a secure place.
5. Guard your mail and trash from theft, tear or shred credit card receipts, insurance forms, physician and bank statements before throwing them
away.
6. Deposit outgoing mail directly into post-office collection boxes or at your local post office rather than in an unsecured mail box.
7. Review credit card and bank account information as soon as they arrive to make sure there's not any unauthorized activity.
8. Call the credit-card company or bank if an account statement is late. A missing bill may mean someone called the company, and using your name,
changed the billing address to prevent you from seeing the fraudulent charges.
Use these tips to prevent having your identity stolen.

Resources: Federal Trade Commission Consumer Government

7 Steps to a Healthier Heart

By Rashun Jones

Heart Disease--was the leading cause of death among black people.
In 1998 heart disease mortality was 45 percent higher for black persons than all persons and heart disease mortality was about 60 percent higher for black males than black females. Death rates for heart disease rise sharply with age.Don't wait until you have a heart attack to start taking good care of your heart. You might not get another chance.

What is Heart Disease?

Heart and blood vessel problems develop over time. Arteries that supply the heart or brain with blood slowly become clogged from a buildup of cells, fat, and cholesterol. This buildup is called plaque. When the blood flow gets blocked, you could have a heart attack or stroke.
Hypertension-high blood pressure--The pressure in your arteries is consistently above the normal range. This can lead to harden arteries, stroke, or heart attack.
Heart Failure-the heart is not pumping blood as well as it should or your body is not getting as much blood and oxygen as it needs.
Stroke- occurs when a blood vessel that feeds the brain gets clogged or bursts.
Heart Attack-blood flow to a part of the heart is blocked, usually by a blood clot.
Atherosclerosis-hardening of the arteries-- The inner walls of the arteries become narrower due to plaque buildup and blood clots form.

Warning Signs of A Heart Attack

Your body likely will have one or more of these symptoms:
1. Uncomfortable pressure, fullness, squeezing or pain in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or goes away and comes back.
2. Chest discomfort with lightheadedness, fainting, sweating, nausea or shortness of breath.
3. Pain that spreads to the shoulders, neck or arms.

Less Common Warning Signs of Heart Attack

Atypical chest pain, stomach or abdominal pain.
Nausea or dizziness (without chest pain).
Shortness of breath and difficulty breathing (without chest pain).
Unexplained anxiety, weakness or fatigue.
Palpitations, cold sweat and paleness.
Not all of these signs occur in every attack. Sometimes they go away and return. If some occur, get help fast. If you notice one or more of these signs in another person, don't wait. Call 9-1-1 fast!

Warning signs and symptoms of a stroke

Sudden weakness or numbness of face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body.
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding.
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination.
Sudden, severe headache with no known cause.

Ways to Reduce your Risks of Dying from Heart Disease

1. Check your blood pressure at least annually. If you have high blood pressure, take your medication every day.
2. Do not smoke.
3. Have your cholesterol level measured at least every 5 years.
4. Keep your weight down.
5. Watch your diet by cutting back on foods high in cholesterol or saturated fat.
6. Exercise regularly.
7. Get regular checkups.

Lifestyle Choices

The risk of heart disease can be significantly decreased by lifestyle choices eating right, exercising and not smoking. Visit your doctor regularly for checkup because the sooner a potential problem is identified, the sooner you can prevent it from developing into something much more serious.
To obtain information on heart disease contact: The American Heart Association
toll free 1-800-242-8721 or Website: http://www.americanheart.org.

Taming the Pace of Our Time Management

By Rashun Jones

Many of us start our day by cramming everything we can on our to do list. Then we run around at a frantic pace trying to get everything done on our list. Does this sound familiar to you?

Spending your day running at a frantic pace can hurt you. A frantic pace can raise your blood pressure, cause you to eat unhealthy foods and make you feel overwhelmed or just stressed out.
Feeling stressed can cause you to experience physical pain like headaches or you may even feel irritable and lash out at your friends and family. If you want to turn this around and feel healthier. Start today with these tips to make time work for you.

1. Treat time like money. You don't throw money away, why would you give away your time? Learn how to prioritize. Tell yourself I won't add another thing to my schedule. "If I want to do this, I'll have to give up something else." Don't spend time you don't have.
2. Sit down and prioritize. I believe one of the most important aspects of time management is knowing what is important to you. This will help you eliminate areas from your life that you are spending time on that you shouldn't be. Ask yourself, Is this how I want to spend my time?" If the answer is no, reprioritize.
Set time priorities that will move you closer to your values, your goals and things you enjoy in life.
3. Learn to say "NO" Practice saying this word with a smile on your face. This re-enforces the fact that you do have choices-exercise your power to choose.
You choose when and where you spend your time and resources.
4. Schedule time for joy. List the things that you find enjoyful...getting to the gym, writing in your journal or window shopping. When you cancel an appointment or an appointment gets re-scheduled, instead of filling that time with more work, how about a compromise? Spend half of the time working and the other half doing a joyful activity.
5. Slow down. At first you may feel uncomfortable adjusting to the slower pace of living. That's because you may actually be addicted to the speed of your current life. You need time to withdraw from the frantic, mindless frenzy. Force yourself to do something slowly. I spend time chopping up vegetables. I enjoy every slow minute of vegetable chopping, storing them and eating them later as a nutritional snack. Sit down and take time to enjoy the moment.

Sometimes we allow our selves to become out of balance because we like it when people say, "Boy, She sure is dynamite. Look how busy she is." Many people say I'm just a poor time manager as if it's ingrained in their DNA. The truth of the matter is anyone can be a good time manager if they choose to be.

The Metamorphosis

Once we begin to transcend, We can amend and ascend.
Once we eliminate the descend, We can experience a new trend.
Outwardly we are changing, But we are just rearranging.
Still clinging to the lies that make us unable to morph and fly.
Still plagued by the patterns of the past, that leave us no room for true change to ever last.
Still lingering in our soul our old self destructive roles.
Escaping ourselves to blend, allows us no way to morph and mend.
Examining our old ways can only lead to better future days.
Accepting our past can true change ever last.
We can have no more idle ways.
we can have no more depressing days.
We can have no more wondering in a maze.
We must eliminate all that haze. Once we discard the lie,
we can now truly morph and fly.

Rhonda Richardson
Copyright (c) 1999 by Rhonda Richardson
Contributor to "Eboni Chronicles Black Women's Ideas, Beliefs and Lifestyles.
Reprint only with permission from author.

7 Steps to Managing Debt

By Rashun Jones, MHR

During the holiday season many of us have a tendency to spend more than we usually do.

Therefore, some of us will not be interested in reading an article about managing debt. But for those who want to make it through the holidays, get a grip on their debt and start the new year with less financial stress. Here's something for you to think about.

Millions of Americans are struggling with debt. If you are one of them, and are frustrated by your past efforts to conquer your credit card and other debt, it may be the time to take a fresh look at your situation and create a strategy that will work. Here are 7 Steps to digging out of debt.

1. Assess Your Debt Plan to spend a week or two getting a handle on where you are, how you got there, and where you want ot go. Know your credit limit. Look at:

How much you owe and the interest rate you are paying.
How much income you have to work with right now.
Where you are spending your money. Use a notebook or ask your bank or credit union if they have resources to organize your debt and track your spending.

2. Develop a Budget Once you know where your money is going, develop a budget and adjust your spending to stick to it.

3. Control Your Credit The best thing you can do is pay down credit card debt. don't get any deeper in debt. If you use a credit card, use the one with the most favorable terms and cut up the rest. Make sure you check the fine print for formation about punitive pricing, universal default and two cycle billing. Avoid accounts that have any of these features.

4 Adjust Your Spending Make a conscious effort to know the difference between needs and wants. Come up with a written plan for reducing your debt systematically. Develop a daily, weekly, or monthly budget. Record ingoing and outgoing income in a notebook for easy viewing.

5. Communicate with Your Family It is imperative that all members of a family understand the financial situation so they can support change.

6. Research Your Resources and Use Them Examine ways to increase income and decrease expenses. Consider selling non-essential assets or finding additional work. Transfer balances on credit cards with high interest rates to cards with lower interest rates. But watch out for expensive balance transfer fees, and choose a card with a low fixed rate whenever possible.

7. Get Help You may feel overwhelmed if you have money troubles, but millions of people have been down this road. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Reliable consumer credit counseling agencies, Va benefits, United Way, Career counseling, your bank or credit union all may be of assistance.

Learn from your mistakes. Once you have reached a comfortable and manageable level of debt, be sure to establish an emergency savings account to protect you from future setbacks.

Most importantly, remember to be both patient and persistent. If you get discouraged or find it hard to meet your basic financial obligations, go back and make adjustments to your plan. Paying off debt is rarely an easy process but you will find the financial and emotional benefits to be worth it once you are debt free.